Friday, September 7, 2012

Impasse

I'm going to keep this post vague; if you know what I'm talking about, smile to yourself and keep it to yourself :) Otherwise, just take it that I'm rambling (what's new?) :)

It feels like I've reached a sort of impasse. There appears to be two different threads tugging at my heart, and each seem to have its own direction to go.

Now, don't ask me which one I prefer... obviously, both are equally appealing, therefore, the impasse.

Thing is: I now feel that perhaps the way to go is the oft-hidden 3rd option - to do neither. And yes, I can hear you say that there is the 4th option, which is to do both.

Truth is, I have been doing both, and for a very very long time. I am not sure if this is something I want to continue, with my feelings about each aside, it is just very tiring.

Maybe I'm burnt out, that's why I'm having such unstable thoughts... I've been on high gear since the start of the year (and I didn't mention WHICH year!) and I guess I'm pretty much maxed out (which seems to be my natural state)...

I like what I do... and I want to keep doing what I do... perhaps my expectations have increased (on the quiet)... do I really expect more now?

And you know I am referring to expectations of others. My expectations for myself have always been... astronomical. Which is fine, because I'm the only one doing it...

Ok... I'm totally mind blocked on this one. I shall go sleep on it, and see if anything pops up :)

This is a totally dumb post. Dont' read it.

aw

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