Breaking form :)

Guess I've ranted enough in my last post, so I shall endeavour to do something else now: writing because I feel like it ;)

On the topic of writing, I find that I really do enjoy the process of putting words into forms such as poetry, stories, songs... whatever fits :) It is as if I have a singular voice, one that does not need to explain (No Explanation), that people understand (Someday), that can be sincere and true (Veritas)... haha! ;)

On the journey towards relaxation (as my less laboured breathing and ache-less chest can testify), I come to a realisation that perhaps would be obvious to many: I am very much an artistic soul.

I say that, not braggadociously, but merely as a statement of fact, or more correctly, of revelation :) I have not previously realise how much I needed my art, writing and composing in particular. Not having done that for the past year seemed to have caused a variety of unusual symptoms, such as lack of drive and motivation, loss of focus, general emotional constipation (no joke!)... I feel as if I'm holding something in, and it's stopping up the plumbing :(

So, in typical proactive fashion, I have going to re-prioritise :) Of course I understand I need to address the bread and butter issue, but I need to order my time better... I need to allocate time to MYSELF :)

Some would think this selfish; I think is imperative :) To me, it is imperative :) It's not that I love everything else less... it is just, perhaps, time to love myself more :)
That has always been the issue (I'm sure many would agree) :)

My new album is entitled "Walk Away"... and as I prepare to share it with the world, I am struck by how much it reflects my state in this time frame :) I need to walk away from those who hurt me; I need to walk away from things that do not edify me; I need to walk away from activities that only feed my body and not my soul :)

And while I'm on the topic of my new album, I can't help but talk about it some :)
It is, in so many ways, a breakthrough for me :) In creating this album, I had to overcome my age-old fear of trusting people :) God sent me a wonderful arranger, Julian Wong, who restored some of the trust I lost to others who were careless and malicious with my love and passion :) And so many others who gave so much to what is essentially my creation... I am overwhelmed by their dedication and commitment :)

And through it all, I had my special AW-esome group of kids :) They really are a bright spot in my life :) They are about to finish up their exams, and we haven't met up in over a month... I miss them terribly :)

They have inspired so much of who I am and what I do... even though they do drive me up the walls on occasions! Guess that's why I have a pair of bright red "Spiderman" shoes ;)

2011 has been a tough year; I was stressed out in areas I wasn't aware was stress-able! Family, career, relationships... but I choose to believe, that through it all, God is (was and always be) in complete control :) And that whatever had, is and will happen, happens exactly the way He intended it to be :)

And since I have it on good authority that my Heavenly Father loves me more than I can ever love anyone, I have every reason to believe that whatever happens next will be great beyond my imagination :)

Thus... I give myself permission to relax :) That's what my Heavenly Father wants me to do anyways :) So the rebel is on strike ;) Haha!

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